ball of lightning [dot] com

It’s time for fun, fun prizes… That’s right folks, it’s time to PISS… YOU… OFF… (and by YOU, I mean LOGAN)

Let it be known that Logan’s profile reads:

WOOO UCONN!!!

;)

Fun!

Let’s begin Round 1…

[23:38:28] Me: WOOO UCONN!!!
[23:38:34] Me: so you DID get wasted at uconn?
[23:43:34] Me: why do you ignore me almighty one?
[23:43:53] Me: is it my good looks, charm, choice of university, cool last name, my door on it’s hinges, what?
[23:51:18] Me: it’s true then, you finally used that extension cord in the garage to your advantage
[23:51:21] Me: good man logan
[23:51:31] Logan: fuck
[23:51:38] Me: there he is
[23:51:39] Logan: what are you saying now?
[23:51:44] Me: lovable lovable logan
[23:51:52] Logan: haha thats me and you know it
[23:51:56] Me: did you miss the first part of my one sided conversation?
[23:52:06] Logan: no, i found it eventuall
[23:52:08] Logan: yu
[23:52:46] Me: good, so going back to question #1… you were sufficiently cocked at uconn i hear
[23:52:59] Logan: pardon?
[23:53:17] Me: at uconn… you + alcohol = one amusing logan
[23:53:33] Logan: :-Donce again..
[23:53:35] Logan: you know it
[23:54:40] Me: logan, taking the RA’s shirt off was NOT a smart move on your part
[23:54:48] Logan: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm
[23:55:11] Me: see when you are drunk you have to think illogically to a certain extent
[23:55:21] Me: your illogical thinking compounds the drunken factor
[23:55:39] Me: never take car keys to a party either, seeing as you seem to lack judgement when dealt increments of alcohol
[23:56:17] Logan: ok. right.
[23:57:47] Me: logan, face it, you and alcohol are a deadly combination
[23:57:54] Me: just like you and cyanide pills
[23:58:08] Logan: i would advise you to stop discussing this now
[23:59:20] Me: don’t advise me anything, i heard from you and another source that you expierienced the great wonder known as booze at uconn
[23:59:33] Me: im just trying to educate you, so you don’t die within your first 6 days in storrs
[23:59:37] Logan: well perhaps i did
[23:59:40] Logan: perhaps i did not
[00:00:24] Me: you did
[00:00:27] Logan: did i?
[00:02:07] Me: logan, admit it, you had a little one to many heinike’s and then wanted to see a little to much “heiny-kins”
[00:02:12] Me: (oh im damn good with wordplay)
[00:02:19] Logan: um, right.
[00:03:37] Me: logan, would you rather be a suicidal sober man, a suicidal alcoholic, or somewhere in between?
[00:03:40] Me: because i can help…
[00:03:42] Me: … with all three
[00:04:36] Logan: oh really/
[00:05:28] Me: yes
[00:05:35] Me: just say the magic word
[00:05:39] Logan: fuck you?
[00:05:49] Me: no, but close
[00:05:54] Me: (and as an aside!)
[00:06:03] Me: our viewer writes in with this question
[00:06:09] Me: SMD629: does he (logan) have a hardon for electrical appliances?
[00:06:38] Logan: aww shawns on how come she’s not on my list anymore?
[00:06:45] Logan: did i block here by accient!
[00:06:46] Logan: oh no!
[00:07:03] Me: logan, i hate to say this… but she’s dead
[00:07:24] Logan: oh. oh dear.
[00:08:17] Me: logan, she killed herself because she knew you were going to uconn
[00:08:50] Logan: that enough
[00:10:43] Me: nah it’s really not
[00:10:53] Me: anything else you’d like to incriminate yourself with?
[00:11:47] Logan: heh heh heh
[00:12:56] Me: fire logan
[00:13:23] Logan: ?
[00:14:31] Me: ill come right out and say two things
[00:14:36] Me: 1.) DIE logan
[00:15:23] Logan: Me that sounds like shawn
[00:16:06] Me: maybe it’s the truth logan, the truth
[00:16:39] Logan: maybe if i gave 2 shits what you or anybody else said
[00:16:47] Me: …. you’d be dead by now
[00:16:49] Logan: i’d be a lot worse off than i am now
[00:17:04] Me: your right, so start listening dammit
[00:17:33] Logan: so you admit youre trying to make me worse off?
[00:17:54] Me: when did i NOT admit to that
[00:18:06] Logan: shut up
[00:18:27] Me: (folks should we tell him?)
[00:19:02] Me: LOGAN, THIS COVERSATION YOU’VE JUST HAD— LOGAN, YOU’RE GOING IN THE BLOG! (game show music plays in the background)
[00:19:19] Logan: fuck off.
[00:19:22] *** Logan signed off at Mon May 31 00:19:21 2004..

Round 2 to come as soon as he unblocks me… or I make up a new screenname, whichever comes first…

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - A Swedish art exhibit featuring cannabis plants may have to be canceled after police confiscated the plants in a drugs bust.

The exhibition, due to open on Saturday in the university town of Lund and titled “Counterclockwise Circumambulation,” was partially destroyed when police cut the plants to take them away as evidence, artist Sture Johannesson said.

The plant is grown in the region for its fibers and Swedish media said Johannesson’s hemp was not the type used by smokers. He could replace the plants, but said they had already begun to grow back. “They will have to come back on a regular basis to prune,” he said on Friday.

Why didn’t I have cool friends in third grade… You hear me? All my fellow Torringfordians, you suck.

MOUNT CARMEL, Tenn. - An 8-year-old became the most popular boy in class when he started handing out $50 bills during a field trip. But he didn’t win any gold stars from the police or his mother, who reported the nearly $1,600 in cash stolen from her purse.

Mount Carmel Police Detective Will Mullins answered a robbery call at Terenia Cipro’s house on May 20. He found her empty purse in her bedroom, but no signs of forced entry.

Cipro, 43, learned later that her son had gotten into her pocketbook that morning, taken the money to school at Carters Valley Elementary School and began giving it away during a class trip.

He handed out about half the money before one of his third-grade teachers saw what was happening and stopped him. At last report, about $500 was still missing.

“I’m sure the boy was disciplined by his mother, and I had a talk with him also,” Assistant Police Chief Mike Campbell said. “I asked him if he knew what he’d done was wrong, and he said he did. He didn’t tell me why he did it, though.”

Note how the reason the woman had $1600 in her purse to begin with is not disclosed…

Well, whenever I don’t have anything worthwhile to post here for prying eyes to read, we always have the news… And here’s some news that “un”fit to print… Pardon the really bad play on words/cliche as well…

LUSAKA (Reuters) - A 50-year-old Zambian man has hanged himself after his wife found him having sex with a hen, police said Friday.

The woman caught him in the act when she rushed into their house to investigate a noise.

“He attempted to kill her but she managed to escape,” a police spokesman said.

The man from the town of Chongwe, about 50 km (30 miles) east of Lusaka, killed himself after being admonished by other villagers.

The hen was slaughtered after the incident.

I like the last line, because I really wanted to hear what happened to that hen…

Shouldn’t the Charlotte Bobcats get the #1 pick in the NBA draft… seeing as they have… oh… zero players…

Sox win again, Kevin Youkilis has been drastically underappreciated so far…

And my sports observations are over for the day… Nice and concise, huh?

The American Bowling Congress (ABC) debut at the Cove goes out in typical “meh” style…

186
189
203

578 series with seven opens (192.66 average)

Shot was not good, ball didn’t make it back once I got it outside of the 10 board… did not make it back at all…

I did trounce Koleszar with his big 546 series though…

Alright, home from work now, and it’s time for a slightly more meaningful post than “Ctrl-C”-ing all my e-mail goodness some of you losers send me… Yes I called you losers…

New job at the almighty pool store has been “meh” so far. The people whom I work with are fairly nice, and the job isn’t too terribly hard (beside the fact that I don’t know the difference between a ladder wedge and pump housing gasket. My only problem is I’m bored out of my mind at times… I guess it’s OK to loaf around some of the time, but they don’t care, and I can sit around for an hour going “Dooo, do, do, do…” and no one says anything… I guess that it’s fine though…

DAMN IT, and once again, people on AIM distract me and I trail off… losers…

Did the AP really need to send out a release on this story?

CRAWFORD, Texas (AP) - President Bush suffered cuts and bruises early Saturday afternoon while mountain biking on his ranch. He was on the 16th mile of a 17-mile ride when he fell, said White House spokesman Trent Duffy.

Bush suffered minor abrasions and scratches on his chin, upper lip, nose, right hand, and both knees, Duffy said. The accident occurred while he was riding with members of the Secret Service and his personal physician, Dr. Richard Tubbs.

After Tubbs cleaned his scratches, Bush finished the ride.

It has also been widely reported that Tubbs had to kiss his boo-boo, and Bush was on his way, claiming that “next time [he] wouldn’t need training wheels.”

Clearly, the NBA is getting too much air time on ESPN…

When 36 minutes out of 60 are dedicated to the Pacers/Pistons game… Well clearly, there’s a problem…

This is what you guys get for e-mailing me stuff… So suffer…

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth” — even when you don’t know anything.
The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, “Then come give your FATHER a big hug.”