ball of lightning [dot] com

Yeah, there was a power hour in Mews tonight. On a Wednesday night. At like 8 PM. This means Jibben is trashed and yelling down the hallway. And if you haven’t heard an Asian man scream at the top of his lungs, well, be glad you haven’t. Headphones on… now.

Saw this on College Humor methinks, and decided I was bored enough to do it for my comp. Note the laptop and the laptop background. I wasn’t that fancy about it, just a quick digicam pic, then a skew, rotate, crop, resize, compress, and POOF! job.

Ever wondered what’s up with the McDonald’s McGriddle commercial? It’s a guy (works at Mickey D’s) whose just gotten dumped by his girlfriend, so his fellow female worker tries to explain women to him by saying that they are like McGriddles; “sweet, delicious, satisfying, enjoyable, right down to the last bite, and then it’s gone, … ” She then asks the guy, “What are you going to do now?” He responds with (like I would in that situation), “I’m going to get another [five] McGriddle[s]?” (The part in [brackets] was what I would have done) So anyways, I was clearly as confused as the guy in the commercial. And after six viewings did not enlighten me to the answer behind the McDonald’s riddle, I did a little net searching. Voila. So she wants him to want her? (Or something to that effect; thank you Cheap Trick). But this still did not appease me, so I had to go around and ask around some. Sure enough, the members of the opposite sex knew EXACTLY what the commercial meant, while me and my fellow brethren, well, we quite honestly had no fucking clue.

So the moral to Aesop’s McDonald’s fable is that it just goes to show you that a commercial about women will get men’s attention, a commercial about food will get men’s attention, but a commercial mixing the two and your asking for trouble. (Lone exception being the Coors commercial, because I remember the twins, and I also remember they like burritos at 4 AM. Must be the song.)

Good enough. I can now sleep peacefully for the first time in what, three months?

The new thing I’m cracking down on. Instant message literacy. And here’s a newsflash for all you people out there. Emoticons are gay. Well for guys; women, knock yourselves out. But if I see one more guy IM me using the whole colon-p tongue sticking out thing, I might snap and kill him/you. Well, if you are gay, it’s not nearly as much of a problem, that can be respected. But for all you other guys, no. No more Asian triangle eyes, winking at me, or giving me the pouty or tears face. Find women. They are more equipped to handle emotion than me. I’ll tell you how hot a chic is, what beer tastes the best under which circumstances, which baseball team will sweep this weekend. Anything. Please, though. I can’t take anymore of this “lol” or “lmao” that turns into giant yellow smiling balls. Want help changing. My use of “hahah” in which the length of the haha’s as well as the capitalization in Daniel Cho’s case emphasize the hilarity of the situation. Speaking of Daniel Cho, the following is also not allowed in internet conversation.

Ten steps to not pissing me off when you are talking to me probably resulting in mindless drivel between the two of us.

1.) The dropping of “irrelevant” letters. “What’s up?” is NOT “Wats up?”
2.) Words that end in -eat or -ate should NOT have the number 8 in them. Later is NOT L8ter. C’mon. That just looks stupid.
3.) The repetitive use of certain phrases is allowed under one circumstance, and should be heeded as a deterrent for more conversation. Per esempio. If I respond to everything you say with “funny” it’s either not that funny, or I am going through a life altering situation that is far more important than you.
4.) Do not talk to people when drunk or you are pretending to be drunk. “SOOFO fakcing wasteged riguioht noooooooooooooow,” is not needed at three in the morning.
5.) If someone’s away message says something like “Classes until 2.” do NOT IM them at noon and ask if they want to go eat lunch.
6.) If my away message says “call cell” please refrain from getting mad because you weren’t able to reach me via IM.
7.) The you’re an idiot one. Please do not use away messages that say, “I’m here. IM me.” Why? Why even go through the effort of clicking the “new away message” button.
8.) Do not think you can get away with saying things online that you would never say or do in real life. If you say “two naked chics are making out in my bed” I will come over to wherever you are, and if said chics are not in said bed, you will be punched.
9.) Do not ask me for any sort of complicated help over the internet. No I cannot do your physics homework, or tell you how to set up an external hard drive in an IM window. Suck it up, and find me in person, or at the very least call me.
10.) Punctuate! Do one of two things. If you are do fucking lazy to hit the period button, hit the enter and start a new line. “i had so much fun last night why weren’t you there i won like ten games of beirut oh man my roommate just threw a coke bottle at my head and missed uh oh he’s lining up again and he hit me.” Unacceptable.

There you go, I’m like David Letterman with the ten things and all. Just with straighter teeth. And far less comedy. Either way, it’s not that I don’t love mindless drivel, or you as my dearest buddies having a conversation with me through miles of wires. Just don’t be an idiot. All of you who read this are competent enough.

In the assumption that there’s a slim possibility that one of you knew that I was bowling for the Cornell IM championship tonight [last night], we won. I shot ridiculously well for a change and finally came through in “da clutch” and we downed the “midgets” 2 games to one. So we are the greatest, we are number one, we are better than you. Suck on that. (And no one cares if you are better than me at math, or eating, or running, or life.)

What a shitty post.

Oh well.

We still won.

Maria Sharapova has turned 18. And someone is letting the world know it.

I may be developing an addiction to this Red Bull/Sobe Adrenaline Rush energy supplement drink thing. Probably not good. Not good at all.

So sleep. Was. 3 hours. Not good.

Had to course enroll for the fall classes (I know, surprisingly early, huh?). [must answer cell phone interruption… … … … back] So anyways, Cornell’s Course Enroll decided to be a lil bitch and attempt to fuck me over. Well I showed it. Sorta. 19 credits; that’s right– 5 classes again– except this time, I lack in the class entitled “Sociology of Power.” Sah, without further ado…

Physics 214 - Wave, Optics and Particles: I can’t wait for physics to be over.
Math 222 - Multivariable Calculus: Ditto.
Philosophy 101 - Introduction to Philosophy: I wanted to take it this semester, but I couldn’t do it without dropping Econ 101.
EAS 130 - Introduction to Meteorology: Might be moving to a meteorology major.
Italian 121 - Introduction to Italian Language: Heh, it’s funny because I already took 5 years of Italian. Getting an “A” should be molto faccile. Ok, so I need a little brushing up.

And there you have it. I have to awaken at the godforsaken hour of 8:00 am on Monday, Wednesday, Friday for my EAS class, and 9:00 am for my Italian lecture on Tuesday and Thursday.

Then after waking up at 6:30 to do that shhiiiittt, went golfing at Trent. Still sucked miserable, but the swing started to come around a bit more towards the end. Random massive driving slices are still not good.

Bowling playoffs tonight. Duh, duh, duhhhhhh…

”The lesson that I’ve learned … is just be careful who you lie down with because you can make babies.” - The immortal Ricky “I like blunts the size of goalposts” Williams.

Did VERY poorly on my Linear Algebra prelim, though I might submit it for a regrade seeing as points arbitrarily disappeared– so until someone PROVES me wrong– meh…

Bowling was much better yesterday night, 745. 279 and a 220-something and a 240-something mixed in. What’s funny is I didn’t even feel well bowling last night, and by feel I just couldn’t get a smooth roll, or hit the exact same board on a regular basis. But as long as I got it around 8-11 down the lane, I hit the pocket, and thanks to the ANIMAL UNTAMED, got decent angle, and hence, carried quite well last night. Not sure what the plans are, but may just try and see if I can practice a lot this summer as opposed to doing a lot of leagues (like the pancake man suggested). I think I’ll do one inexpensive sanctioned league, and then bowl at Bristol on Tuesday and Thursday, Cove on Fridays, etc. I just think I still have a lot of mechanics stuff that needs to be tweaked. I have bowled better this year, but I haven’t really found “my” form (delivery, backswing, release, etc.) yet, and I keep moving around on the lanes, tweaking stuff, etc. Probably going to solidify that this summer, and get ready for CORNELL bowling, and a couple leagues next year. I think I’m gonna go back to trying the whole moving the slide leg back under with my toe pointed towards the seven pin, and keeping my trail leg low to the ground for some control. See if the big man knows what he’s talking about.

And I’m late for Linear Algebra section. Meh.

Nike Pro apparel. Commercial. Sports. Stars. Wearing. Weird masks and… shit. Why? Why? God why? Warriors? So says you.

The most powerful and influencial and inspirational world figure of my lifetime has passed away.

May he be seated at God’s right side.

RIP John Paul II.

Amen. Amen.