ball of lightning [dot] com

My first year of Christmas tournaments are over. Those glorious tournaments between Christmas (Merry belated Christmas by the way) and the new year, where teams comes from far and wide (San Jose State? Florida State? Don’t you guys have something better to do?) to whoop Cornell’s ass at bowling.

First one– the Roto-Grip Collegiate Invitational– averaged 185 on the nose– 10 pins above field average (174 point something), but about 20 pins below high average. Finished like 40th out of 253 bowlers. High Cornell average. Lanes were swamped, so myself (being “no-hands”) had trouble early. I peaked in games 4 and 5, and killed my average by throwing a 153 the last game with 3 opens (and only one strike). The team did alright, finishing 21st out of 42 teams– which– considering how disappointed we were in our showing– speaks about the improvements we have made from last year (where the team– without me of course– finished 37th out of 48)

Second tournament– Nittany Lion Kegler Classic in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. Easier pattern, I’d say. I couldn’t miss in practice with the Black Widow. I must have shredded the rack like 8 times in 10 shots or something, and left a stone 10 the other two. In the actual games, I struggled out of the gate though– I remember I kept dumping the ball a hair outside and it came in weak everytime– probably adrenaline. I think I threw 183 the first game, then scratched a 201 the second game. In typical me fashion, I had a terrible 153 the third game, then threw a 193 and a 211 for games 4 and 5. By the end of the fifth game I was feeling pretty awful– I had felt weird the night before at a late night diner run, and I wasn’t myself that morning. During game 6, I got progressively more nauseous, and actually went outside between shots to get some fresh air. Of course, in traditional style (I don’t know how it always works out this way), I ended up throwing my best game of the day in that game. Bridged the middle of the game with a 5 bagger, and split my board on each one (that I can remember). Could have gone out for a 245, but I was tired and kept dropping my shoulder, so I finished the last two frames with some low fill spares and ended up with a 219. Averaged 193 for the first day, well over 15 pins over field average, and stuck me in the high 20’s/242 bowlers again. Of course, I wound up in the hotel room an hour later suffering from like a 102 degree fever, a migraine-ish headache, and an imbalance that was so bad it would make a drunken Gnome look like a Romanian gymnast. The story even included the obligatory scene of me lying on a bathroom floor contemplating whether to unscrew the plumbing underneath the sink to funnel pain killers and fever reducers dropped from above. Needless to say myself (and fearless leader Brian who suffered a similar illness) were bedridden for the final 3 games on the tournament this morning, which hurt the team total and my personal field percentage (since that goes by total pins, not field average differential). I actually got everyone up and told them we were all bowling, but it became painfully clear that I was not going to be able to a) throw a bowling ball faster or more accurately than a 5 year old girl and b) keep my internal fluids from spewing out onto vital bowling surfaces– and no one likes my breakfast on the bottom of their bowling shoes. So the team finished the day with 3 bowlers, causing us to drop to like 3rd to last (taking zeros for 6 total games must hurt!)– it wasn’t that shocking, since we had struggled the day before– we were in 24th out of the 41 teams there– outside the top 20 range for significant power points for sectionals. And trust me, I wasn’t going anywhere but down today.

So that’s done– now to wait for the standings to be verified to see where we are and whether it’s still a feasible goal to work for sectionals or not– if not, I’m going to try to get some of the freshman/sophomores to bowl in the next four tournaments (the spring ones) to get some experience for next year. I’ve learned a lot about this system this year, and, leave it to a Cornell student, to have devious secret ways of exploiting it.

Grades are up for Cornell.

Ended up with a 3.95 this semester. A- in one class, A or better in everything else (including thermodynamics!).

Cumulative is up to a little over 3.3 I think. Not bad considering it was 2.8 after freshman year.

OK. Now I’ve never been big on the video game scene. And aside from brief obsessions with Hardball 5, High Heat 2003, Nascar Racing, and NHL 1998 for my computer in my more “youthful” years, I can’t say I’ve been able to sit down and play a game for more than a couple hours at a time. Tops. Hell, I downloaded Madden ‘07 for my laptop this year, and I play one game (usually lose), get bored, ruffle some thermodynamics problems to feel busy, and then wander into the living room (to find people watching Beauty and the Geek– but, hey, sometimes you gotta just take one for the team).

But seriously. I got to play it today. And I swear to my boy, Jesus– I’ve never wanted a video game console more than the Wii. Not even close. This is like wanting Anna Kournikova compared to wanting Rosie O’Donnell… … … exactly. Hell, my parents bought me and my brother (back in the da-hay) a Playstation (albeit like 2 years after it came out) and a PS2 (ok, only like 10 months after it came out) and I swear, I’ve logged no more than ten total hours on either in five years (the pothead, by comparison, knocks off 10 hours in one of his daily shootfests). But this is the fucking Wii! I mean– it’s a Wii! You can bowl– in your living room! It’s raining? Fuck the tennis courts– just use the bleepity, bleepin Wii!

Did I mention you can bowl in your living room!?

And if that doesn’t sell you, I’m sure these guys will…

Buy me a Wii. Make it a Merry Christmas.

I Meant Nowhere White People Would Want to Go.

Blond Tourist Bimbo: I’ve never even heard of the G Train.
Blond Local Bimbo: Yeah, it’s a ghetto train.
Blond Tourist Bimbo: Where does it go?
Blond Local Bimbo: Nowhere.
Black eight-year-old boy: Except my home, bitch.

— G train Hoyt/Schermerhorn station

I can’t believe I didn’t stumble upon this page sooner. The Dugout (aka WordUpThome) is a spoof site which chronicles the lives of big league players as if they were living through instant message conversations. The best part is, each player gets their own personality, from Jim Thome (the original character) as a loud-mouthed, boistrous moron– to Manny Ramirez having the intellect of a five year-old. Some great quotes/conversations…

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: why does everybody on the japan sofball team look like a. dragon from tecmo world wrestling
-from Gato Get You Into My Life

LadyCop: Hello, sir. I stopped you because you have a taillight out. I’ll give you a warning this time, but you’ll want to make sure you
SteakGrowsOnDmitri: splintercell bitch
**OnlineHost** SteakGrowsOnDmitri is choking the hell out of a lady police officer
SteakGrowsOnDmitri: aw shit
**OnlineHost** SteakGrowsOnDmitri is vomiting all over a lady police officer
LadyCop: /knocked out and covered in vomit
SteakGrowsOnDmitri: i aint ashamed to serve the lord
-from Dmitri Young’s Lucky Day

UribeAuction: Well I shot a Dominican farmer and his friend in the Italian navy.
WordUpThome: HOLY MOLY BAT-MAN I DID NOT KNOW DOMINICA HAD FARMS AND I DID NOT KNOW ITALIA HAD A NAVY, ARE YOU CERTAIN THEY WEREN’T FENCEPOSTS OR SOMETHING SUCH
-from A Jeep Thing

The guy also produces banners for websites and message boards, my favorite of which is…

Finally, finally, FINALLY upgraded from the always solid, but ever-so-outdated Nokia 3595 today. Got the Sony W300i for free (after $50 rebate and the extension of course). So far, nice phone. I like the black, silver, orange color scheme (when closed it has a sharp looking monochrome orange-on-black LCD)– it actually stores and plays music and the speakers are quite good for a little phone (better than my laptop’s). Not having to use polyphonic ringtones anymore is quite exciting as well! I mean, how cool is that– even if I am like two years behind the curve. Keypad is this design called “fish scales” which is a little annoying to get used to– even though it looks kind of cool. The menu buttons at the top are kind of small and close together, so I sometimes accidentally bump into other buttons trying to end calls and navigate menus– hopefully that gets better with use. Digital camera quality is shitty, but hey, you can only ask for so much. It has Bluetooth, so I’m going to have to find myself a headset at some point, as opposed to this corded one that came with the phone. Not bad for the price I guess, and since I don’t download streaming video or tons of music/games/files nor do I typically browse the internet, it does exactly what I need.

Though it is going to take a while to move my contacts from “the brick” over to the new phone, so… what the hell, call me and save me the trouble!

I’m not sure which quote I should apply to my life more…

“I remember once imagining what my life would be like, what I’d be like. I pictured having all these qualities, strong positive qualities that people could pick up on from across the room. But as time passed, few ever became any qualities that I actually had. And all the possibilities I faced and the sorts of people I could be, all of them got reduced every year to fewer and fewer. Until finally they got reduced to one, to who I am. And that’s who I am, the weather man.”

or…

“Here’s something that if you want your father to think your not a silly fuck, don’t slap a guy across the face with a glove because if you do that, that’s what he will think. Unless you’re a noble man or something in the ninethenth century. Which I am not.”

… and don’t forget the tartar sauce.

Random aside– the plane carrying Boston pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka and GM Theo Epstein that was tracked on ESPN all day actually flew 4.6 miles south of my exact location. I should have gone outside and waved.

I love it that you realize you blew your chance.