ball of lightning [dot] com

Apparently, some kiddos from Bristol (obligatory shoutout to Mark at Bristol Ten Pin; bring back “Bowl Your Head Off”) were at Fenway today (yesterday, since it’s 4 AM) when some girl was randomly attacked by a red-tailed hawk. Which I’m like “well that blows, but it’s kind of funny.” It went from being “kind of funny” to “really fucking hilarious” once I found out her name.

BOSTON — A 13-year-old girl touring Fenway Park on a school trip was attacked by a resident red-tailed hawk that drew blood from her scalp Thursday.

She wasn’t seriously hurt, but some observers saw an omen for a certain New York Yankees slugger in the attack at the home of the Boston Red Sox. The girl’s name is Alexa Rodriguez.

Vince Jennetta, a teacher who chaperoned her class trip from Memorial Boulevard Middle School in Bristol, Conn., told The Boston Globe that Alexa is “a little shaken, but OK.”

The hawk was perched on a railing in the upper deck behind home plate while the group toured the stadium. The hawk flew at the girl and swooped with its talons extended, scratching her scalp.

I mean, if there was ever a case for intelligent design (or God having an awesome sense of humor), this is it.